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Reminder to all staff: SCP-999 is not to consume caffeinated soft drinks of any kind. Last week someone gave SCP-999 a can of cola along with its usual breakfast- Not only was it literally bouncing off the walls for half an hour, the carbonation made SCP-999 visibly queasy afterwards, and it refused to move or eat the rest of the day. SCP-999 has thankfully recovered since, but the staff member in question has been reprimanded.Dr. ████████ SCP-999 is a large, amorphous, gelatinous mass of transl

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